Bancul zilei

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1. de danone:
   
   A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a blank form and wrote, "Woof..woof..woof.. woof..woof..woof.. woof..woof...woof." The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'woof' for the same price." The dog replied "What, and ruin the punchline?!"
   2010-12-29, 00:21:23 (89.176.222.*)
2. de danone:
   
   Here are some interesting, but true facts, that you may or may not have known._______ The Statue of Liberty’s index finger is eight feet long### Rain has never been recorded in some parts of the Atacama Desert in Chile### A 75 year old person will have slept about 23 years.### A Boeing 747′s wing span is longer than the Wright brother’s first flight (the Wright brother’s invented the airplane)### There are as many chickens on earth as there are humans.### One type of hummingbird weighs less than a penny### The word “set” has the most number of definitions in the English language;192### Slu gs have four noses### Sharks can live up to 100 years### Mosquitos are more attracted to the color blue than any other color### Kangaroos can’t walk backwards### About 75 acres of pizza are eaten in in the U.S. Everyday### The largest recorded snowflake was 15in wide and 8in thick. It fell in Montana in 1887### The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is actually a tiny sonic boom.### Former president Bill Clinton only sent 2 emails in his entire 8 year presidency### Koala s and humans are the only animals that have finger prints### There are 200,000,000 insects for every one human### It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery had in it to begin with
   2010-12-29, 00:24:22 (89.176.222.*)
3. de danone:
   
   Some Interesting Facts____ Human birth control pill work on gorillas. ### The right lung takes in more air than the left. ### It is illegal to own a red car in Shanghai China. ### A hard-boiled egg will spin. An uncooked or soft-boiled egg will not. ### Astronaut s cannot burp in space. ### The snowiest city in the U.S.A. is Blue Canyon, California. ### La ke Nicaragua in Nicaragua is the only fresh water lake in the world that has sharks. ### Kite flying is a professional sport in Thailand. ### The great warrior Genghis Khan died in bed while having s*x. ### No matter how cold it gets gasoline will not freeze.
   2010-12-29, 00:26:46 (89.176.222.*)
4. de danone:
   
   Stupid Questions With Smart Answers___ Boy: May I hold your hand? Girl: No thanks, it isn’t heavy. ### Girl: Say you love me! Say you love me! Boy: You love me… ### Girl: If we become engaged will you give me a ring? Boy: Sure, what’s your phone number? ### Girl: I think the poorest people are the happiest. Boy: Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple. ### Girl: Darling, I want to dance like this forever. Boy: Don’t you ever want to improve? ### Boy: I love you and I could die for you! Girl: How soon? ### Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: Yes, but would you stay there? ### Sharon: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss? Tracy: I did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. ### Man: You remind me of the sea. Woman: Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting? Man: No, because you make me sick. ### Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. Husband: You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. ### Mary: John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly.What do you think, Peter? Peter: A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly. ### Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else? Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday. ### Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? Pupil: The moon. Teacher: Why? Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it. ### Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Pupil: A teacher. ### Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colors do you have? ### Teacher: Sam, you talk a lot! Sam: It’s a family tradition. Teacher: What do you mean? Sam: Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher. Teacher: What about your mother? Sam: She’s a woman.### Tom: How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed? David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated. ### Teac her: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Student: Brotherly love. ### Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook. ### Patient: What are the chances of my recovering doctor? Doctor: One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died. ### Teacher: Can anybody give an example of coincidence? One Student: Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day and at the same time. ### Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him? One student: Because George still had the axe in is hand.
   2010-12-29, 00:30:34 (89.176.222.*)
5. de Popa Macarie:
   
   Taica danone pe 31 facem exorcizari la biserica sa vii sa te aducem pe calea cea dreapta. P.S. Happy New Year! La multi ani! in traducere.
   2010-12-29, 00:47:57 (82.145.210.*)
6. de M.I.:
   
   Pt. danone: Za mnoghie godî!
   2010-12-29, 02:12:57 (92.80.215.*)
7. de nikko:
   
   Un cerşetor a dat un anunţ la ziar: "Caut de lucru. Cerşesc impecabil în opt limbi."
   2010-12-29, 07:36:12 (86.123.127.*)
8. de nikko:
   
   Un grup de marinari pe un vapor. Furtună la un moment dat. Unul strigă: - Bă Vasile, zi-i lu' ăla de pe catarg să de jos parîmele. - Bă, tu de acolo! Dă jos parîmele! Nimic. - Bă, tu nu auzi, dă mă jos parîmele! ...- Bă Vasile, ăla nu te înţelege că e englez, vorbeşte-i în engleză! - A, aha! - Hey! Do you speak English? - Yeah! - Atunci dă, bă, jos parîmele, bă!
   2010-12-29, 07:50:09 (86.123.127.*)
9. de nikko:
   
   Cum recunoşti un iepure zburător? Are un uliu pe spate.
   2010-12-29, 07:52:28 (86.123.127.*)
10. de M.I.:
    
    Boc se duce la preot şi-l întreabă: -Părinte, e adevărat că în iad se joacă şi baschet? -Nu ştiu, dar mă interesez şi-ţi spun peste câteva zile. Peste câteva zile vine Boc să afle răspunsul. Preotul: -Am o veste bună şi una rea. Vestea bună este că se joacă, vestea proastă este că peste o săptămână tu ai meci.
    2010-12-29, 08:22:59 (92.80.215.*)
11. de Aristotel:
    
    Cand era mai mic, Danone a cazut din ciresul vecinului, drept in cap ! L-au dus la doctor si doctorul a dat verdictul; daca nu moare, va ramane " cazut in cap" ! Ei vedeti, n-a murit !
    2010-12-29, 11:13:22 (109.96.20.*)
12. de ?pro-danone?:
    
    limba engleza este simpla. pentru cei care chiar nu vor s-o inteleaga,va traduc un singur banc de-al lui: "Ein Schäferhund ging zu einem Western Union Büro, nahm ein leeres Formular, und schrieb: "Woof Woof .. .. .. wuff wuff wuff .. .. .. wuff wuff wuff .. ... wuff." Der Sachbearbeiter überprüft das Papier und sagte dem Hund: "Es gibt nur neun Worte hier. Du könntest ein anderes" Wuff "für den gleichen Preis zu schicken." Der Hund antwortete: "Was, und ruinieren die Pointe?"" vedeti ce simplu. trebuie doar putina atentie!
    2010-12-29, 13:29:00 (86.124.213.*)
13. de gura pacatosului:
    
    Eine popa ghing odata mit ein iapa font capastru...Dar de la un zeit incoace iapa nicht voia sa mearga.....dendi popa suparat a luat iapa font un sfant si a aruncato-n sant
    2010-12-29, 14:11:44 (109.97.88.*)
14. de redneck:
    
    Once upon a time there was a crazy guy nicknamed Danone and his girlfriend realized that his eggs are not boiled becouse they do not spin...capisci???
    2010-12-29, 16:35:55 (79.117.162.*)
15. de taranu':
    
    Nene danone ajutor! Ia vezi e corecta traducerea: وذه
    2010-12-29, 18:39:21 (79.117.144.*)
16. de juj:
    
    wai wai ce o zis taranu!wai wai!mare belea mare!sa aveti grija!
    2010-12-29, 18:52:43 (79.117.172.*)
17. de craiovean:
    
    De cand s-a pogorat geru’, am iesit si io,ca tot omu’, echipat cu caciula. De regula, n-o folosesc, merg cu capu’ descoperit(era sa zic gol) ,da’ acu’, am zis sa intru si io-n randu’ lumii. Dreacu m-a pus,cred c-am intaratat toti cainii comunitari din cartier…La inceput, am varientat aleile mele de suflet,apoi am luat-o pe zone mai circulate…Unu’ daca era,ala eram…Nu ma lasa-n pace, decat daca aruncam bulagari de zapada …Ce plm-ea or avea cu ea(cu mine),nu stiu ,ca nu e(caciula) nici din merinos ,nici din blana de urs…Si nu-s nici tigan(cu ei e jale mare,mai ales daca au sac in spate),nici gunoier si nici aurolac..Acas’ ,am studiat-o putin ,sa vad ce-i idarjeste asa…Mah, frate, nu seamana nici cu a lu’ Tudor Vladimirescu si nici cu a lu’ Mihai Viteazul(s-o iau cu cei zonali), ca ale lor erau mai tuguiate…Or gandi (ei,cainii) ca-s frun urs tomberonar ratacit prin cartier…O mai iau o data si,daca mai sunt latrat,imi bag p..a-n ea de caciula…
    2011-01-04, 11:01:38 (79.117.163.*)