Bancul zilei

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1. de danone:
   
   A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration: "I was a father all my life,/ I had no children, had no wife,/ I read the bible through and through/ on my way to Timbuktu ... " The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece: "Wh en Tim and I to Brisbane went/ We met three ladies cheap to rent./ They were three and we were two,/ So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
   2010-08-06, 00:04:01 (89.176.222.*)
2. de pt. danone:
   
   Gata retardatule, stai la pândă şi imediat începi să copiezi de pe alte site-uri şi să postezi aici ! Altă treabă, nu ai ?!
   2010-08-06, 00:19:49 (79.116.13.*)
3. de M.I.:
   
   Eu cunosc limba lui Puskin, ca urmare, va rog,puneti si cateva bancuri in aceasta limba internationala. Nu ma privati de placerea de a citi bancuri intr-o limba straina.Cu atat mai mult ca le-ar citi si Iliescu . Parca il si vad ranjind si dand din fund. Hai Danone, da-o si pe rusa! Spasiva, mnogo blagadariu!....imi cer scuze, nu gasii slavonele. Danone,sa nu cumva sa-mi spui ca nu cunosti limba lui Putin. Din cate am vazut pe aici esti bine educat si foarte bine instruit, asa ca , la treaba!
   2010-08-06, 01:05:41 (92.80.230.*)
4. de clauss:
   
   @M.I. si Iliescu: Бабушка и аптека anticonceptionalele batrana приходит старая 80-год с рецептом. Спросите фармацевт: -Рецепт является для вас? -Да. -Знаете, что это рецепт концептуал ьная? Они не делают ничего. -Да, я сплю спокойстви я. -Как так? -Принять таблетку каждое утро, pisez и dizolv в стакан с моей племянницы сок. Так спать, я спокойстви е!
   2010-08-06, 06:38:50 (79.19.184.*)
5. de goguta:
   
   ba da ma-ti dat gata, nu sintem sanatosi
   2010-08-06, 08:21:06 (213.233.92.*)
6. de Traduceti:
   
   Aku tahu bahasa Pushkin, oleh karena itu, silakan, menaruh beberapa lelucon dalam bahasa internasional. Aku tidak dicabut kenikmatan membaca lelucon dalam bahasa yang lebih straina.Cu sehingga mereka akan membaca dan Iliescu. Seperti kau dan aku melihat kebawah kemudian memberikan suara gelak. Mari Danone dan berikan Rusia! Spa, mnogo blagadariu !.... maaf, tidak bisa menemukan slavonele. Danone entah bagaimana tidak mengatakan bahwa Putin tidak tahu bahasa. Dari apa yang saya lihat di sini adalah yang terdidik dan terlatih, sehingga pekerjaan!
   2010-08-06, 08:28:11 (79.117.163.*)
7. de Alexandra:
   
   Eu nu inteleg ce aveti cu Danone daca pune bancuri in limba engleza......Nu le cititi si gata, ce atatea comentarii pe tema asta....
   2010-08-06, 08:37:13 (109.166.129.*)
8. de amariei:
   
   Danone, gluma de la nr.1 e super !
   2010-08-06, 16:27:57 (213.233.92.*)
9. de redneck:
   
   Vă place iaurtul marca god fac iu?
   2010-08-06, 16:45:26 (79.117.186.*)
10. de oltean:
    
    Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31##### How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." #####Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it. #####The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors." #####A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination." Th e computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive." The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem." Sudden ly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again." #####A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do? "I know," said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way." "No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way." "Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again." #####A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS". "G.O.O. D" answered his wife. #####The Programmers' Cheer :: Shift to the left, shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!
    2010-08-06, 17:18:33 (192.35.79.*)
11. de oltean:
    
    - "Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?" - "No..." - "Inheritance." ## ###If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL. If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT. If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIRTUAL. If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE. ##### If you can pick it up, it's a PC. If you can't pick it up but you can push it over, it's a minicomputer. But when you can't pick it up or knock it over, it's a mainframe. #####Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions. Seve ral years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. All he could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it. Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer debacles; after the leap day. Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life. He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was that. The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!". There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie. Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is it over?" he asked. "Is the year 2000 already here? Are all the millennial parties and promotions and crises all over and done with?" The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. Technology had advanced to such a degree that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact anyone else on the planet. "That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is everybody so interested in me?" "Well," said the spokesman. "The year 10000 is just around the corner, and it says in your files that you know COBOL".#####APL is a write-only language.
    2010-08-06, 17:22:25 (192.35.79.*)
12. de oltean:
    
    In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.##### C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to.##### With C you can shoot yourself in the leg. With C++ you can reuse the bullet.##### A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.##### PL/ I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or Fortran.##### The most important thing in the programming language is the name. A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language
    2010-08-06, 17:26:42 (192.35.79.*)
13. de jack:
    
    Stiti bancul cu rata ? "Ra-t-ai dracului !!!
    2010-08-06, 18:10:31 (92.80.200.*)
14. de sms:
    
    mai citeam cateva glume si din comentarii,dar azi cred ca din cauza caldurii a-ti luat-o razna cu totii....si cand te gandest ca mai avem vara,iar criza este la inceput de drum....se spune ca FIECARE PASARE PE LIMBA EI PIERE.....cred ca v-a pierit deja HUMORUL.ca de UMORnici vorba....
    2010-08-06, 18:24:47 (109.166.132.*)