Bancul zilei

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1. de pt Danone:
   
   danoane , ce draq facusi , ti-a secat inspiratia sau plecashi la englezi sa mai culegi cate ceva¿? vezi ca exista internet , de acolo mai poti copia cate ceva....ma dezamagesti
   2010-03-04, 00:25:56 (83.38.173.*)
2. de danone:
   
   Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates... "I know you haven't been getting much lately...but I didn't know you were so worried about it!"
   2010-03-04, 00:31:54 (213.220.236.*)
3. de danone:
   
   A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash. She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rolls around, leans over, and splat! He pukes all over the dog. The drunk looks down, sees the little dog struggling in the pool of vomit, and slurs, "I don't remember eating that!"
   2010-03-04, 00:33:56 (213.220.236.*)
4. de craioveanu:
   
   bravo danone! frumoasa replica pt somnanbulul de la 1
   2010-03-04, 00:35:03 (79.117.211.*)
5. de danone:
   
   @craioveanu: :)
   2010-03-04, 00:41:38 (213.220.236.*)
6. de danone:
   
   This woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral. She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit. He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?" But she insists that it must be a blue suit and gives him a blank check to buy one. When she comes back for the wake, she sees her husband in the coffin and he is wearing a beautiful blue suit. She tells the director how much she loves the suit and asks how much it cost. He says, "Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another deceased was brought in, this one wearing a blue suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said that was fine with her. So . . . I switched the heads"
   2010-03-04, 00:44:11 (213.220.236.*)
7. de danone:
   
   Bula la scoala, la ora de engleza.Vine profa' si zice: -Copii cine-mi spune cum se zice la pisica in engleza are 1 zece!Se ridica 1 si spune: -ZA CAT! -Bravooo , ai un zece !Dar cine stie cum se zice la catel in engleza ii dau 2 de zece . -ZA DOG raspunde unu! -Bravo , ai doi de zece; da' ma copii ma cine stie cum se zice la caldura are media 10 pe anu asta Bula se ridica si falnic spune:ZA DUF!
   2010-03-04, 00:48:52 (213.220.236.*)
8. de danone:
   
   How do you tickle a rich girl? Say, "Gucci Gucci Gucci!"
   2010-03-04, 00:52:44 (213.220.236.*)
9. de danone:
   
   My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the hell she is! ### The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again. ### I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up? ### I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. ### I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. ### I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. ### I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. ### The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. ### If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. ### I don't jog... it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
   2010-03-04, 00:58:37 (213.220.236.*)
10. de danone:
    
    - Gigele, ti-ai facut tema pentru acasa? - Nu. - Stai jos, ai nota patru. Dar tu, Ionele? - Mi-am uitat caietul acasa. - Stai jos. Patru. Si tu , Bulisor? - N-am facut-o, pentru ca fratele meu s-a intors de la inchisoare .... - Aha, vrei sa ma sperii cu el? Stai jos, sase!
    2010-03-04, 01:00:15 (213.220.236.*)
11. de danone:
    
    An Arab diplomat visiting in the United States for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir wasn't used to the salt in American foods, so he was forever sending his manservant, Abdul, to fetch glasses of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water. On this occasion, though, Abdul returned empty-handed. "A bdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the Grand Emir. "A thousand pardons, Oh Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul, "but, there is a man sitting on the well."
    2010-03-04, 01:01:32 (213.220.236.*)
12. de danone:
    
    Ads seen in NY Times>>> For sale by owner Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything. ### We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. ### "I nstead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." ### Advic e for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children" ### "T here are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." ### "I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." ### "Any time four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place." ### "Hon esty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
    2010-03-04, 01:04:52 (213.220.236.*)
13. de danone:
    
    How come Italian's don't like Jehovah witnesses? They don't like any witnesses !
    2010-03-04, 01:07:25 (213.220.236.*)
14. de danone:
    
    A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, "Mom, look - I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"
    2010-03-04, 01:08:38 (213.220.236.*)
15. de danone:
    
    Big Lorenzo, an Italian fella, is bragging to his friends about his sons: "I'ma so prouda my oldest son. He maka fifty thousand dollar evra year. Hesa Engineer!" "I even more prouda ma second son. He maka five hundred thousand dollar a year. Hesa Doctor!" "But, I'ma da proudest a ma youngest son. He maka Five million dollar a year. Hesa Sports Mechanic!" Paolo , his friend asks: "What's a Sports Mechanic?" Loren zo replies: "Wella, he can fixa everytin. He fixa da horseraces, he fixa da boxin matcha......."
    2010-03-04, 01:12:03 (213.220.236.*)
16. de danone:
    
    How many of you believe in psycho-kenisis? Raise my hand.
    2010-03-04, 01:15:31 (213.220.236.*)
17. de danone:
    
    Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their 9 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the 9 kids are able to fit onto the bus.So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus. So shut the hell up.
    2010-03-04, 01:16:49 (213.220.236.*)
18. de danone:
    
    An old mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to the bed. - You lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me. - But grandpa, I really don't like guns. Howzabout you leava me your rolex watch instead? - Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business, you gonna have a beautifulla wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a coulple a bambinos. Somma day you gonna coma home and maybe find your beautifula wife in bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then? Pointa to your watch and say: "Time's up?'"
    2010-03-04, 01:19:11 (213.220.236.*)
19. de danone:
    
    Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives!
    2010-03-04, 01:20:24 (213.220.236.*)
20. de danone:
    
    Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
    2010-03-04, 01:21:50 (213.220.236.*)
21. de danone:
    
    A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs: - Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him. - Now, now,. ..her mother comforted, I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding. - No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price! - Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her mom. Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars. - No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket. - Airplane ticket? What did you need an airplane ticket for? - Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said: "Prepare from a frozen state", so I flew to Alaska.
    2010-03-04, 01:24:04 (213.220.236.*)
22. de danone:
    
    Doi nemţi discută într-un showroom: - Ce-i asta? Dacia Duster? - Duster...da, se pare că e o maşină. - Românească, nu? - Dam cred că e românească. - Bună, nu? Gardă înaltă, cauciucuri groase? - Mda.. - Ce ţi-e şi cu românii ăştia! Ar face orice numai să nu-şi repare drumurile..
    2010-03-04, 01:25:23 (213.220.236.*)
23. de miki:
    
    Ha ha ... asta de'l inventasi la urma e cel mai tare si mai adevarat
    2010-03-04, 01:43:54 (80.239.242.*)
24. de asterisc:
    
    Pierderea unui câine nu cred că este un banc bun, dar arată câtă iresponsabilitate este pe la noi în comportamentul posesorilor de câini...
    2010-03-04, 11:28:42 (79.117.196.*)
25. de a...:
    
    pai ce... numai engleza...luati si de la mine ceva:Det er ikke lett å bli Lotto-millionær, men det er samtidig ikke lett å si nøyaktig hvor vanskelig det er. Iallfall ikke i praksis. I teorien kan man si at det er bortimot umulig å få sju rette, men på den annen side er det i gjennomsnitt fire personer som opplever dette hver eneste lørdag. På denne siden skal vi derfor forsøke å sette tall på vinnersannsynlighete ne i de ulike spillene. Lotto I Lotto på lørdag gjelder det å plukke ut sju vinnertall av 34 mulige. Det gir drøyt 5,3 millioner forskjellige kombinasjoner. Det betyr at dersom du spiller én rekke er den teoretiske sannsynligheten for å få sju rette 1:5.379.616. For å få premie (4 rette + 1 tilleggstall, eller bedre) er den teoretiske vinnersjansen 1:138. Fra og med trekningen lørdag 8. april 2006 trekkes det ut én rekke i den faste tilleggstrekningen Millionsjansen. Eieren av denne rekken er vinneren. Det er altså akkurat den ene spesifikke rekken som trekkes ut, det er ikke slik at alle rekker med de samme tallene også vinner. Jo flere rekker man har, desto større sannsynlighet for å bli trukket ut. Antall deltakere eller omsetning har ingen innvirkning på vinnersannsynlighete n. Viking Lotto I Viking Lotto på onsdag er "spillformelen" seks vinnertall av 48 mulige. Det gir mange flere mulige kombinasjoner enn Lotto, og en teoretisk sannsynlighet for seks rette på 1:12.271.512. I tillegg trekkes det et lykketall, som dersom det også finnes blant de seks vinnertallene, utløser utbetaling av en ekstra lykketallpott. Dette skjer i teorien hver 10. uke. Antall deltakere eller omsetning har ingen innvirkning på vinnersannsynlighete n. Joker Når det gjelder førstepremien i Joker, er det slik at én spiller trekkes ut hver spilleomgang. Trekningsgrunnlaget er alle deltakelser – det vil si at dersom en spiller har fem deltakelser den aktuelle spilleomgangen (innsats 100 kroner), har spilleren fem muligheter til å bli trukket ut. Sannsynlighet en for å bli trukket ut, har en sammenheng med hvor mange som deltar. Tar vi en gjennomsnittslørdag i 2005, ligger antallet deltakere på snaut 500.000. Det betyr en sannsynlighet for å bli trukket ut på cirka 1:500.000. Extra Fra og med trekningen 18. september 2007 trekkes det fast 47 tall i Extra. Det gjør at vinnersannsynlighete n blir slik: For brett: 1:41.135 For ramme: 1:900 For bilde 1:19 Tipping Sid en 1948 har det handlet om å få 12 rette i Tipping. Med unntak av en svært kort periode på 80-tallet da kupongen inneholdt 13 kamper. Med 12 kamper og tre mulige utfall (H, U, B) blir det over en halv million mulige rekker. Teoretisk sannsynlighet for å få 12 rette blir da 1:531.441. Den praktiske sannsynligheten vil noen hevde er langt bedre, ettersom noen tippetegn er mer sannsynlige enn andre fordi noen lag er bedre enn sine motstandere. Men ballen er fortsatt rund... Oddsen S annsynligheten for å vinne på Oddsen varierer stort – avhengig av hva man spiller på. Kort fortalt gjenspeiler størrelsen på oddsene sannsynligheten for å vinne. Jo lavere odds, desto mer sannsynlig er det at du vinner. Til gjengjeld vinner du da mindre enn med høyere (og mer usannsynlige) odds. Valget er ditt – men lav odds betyr selvsagt ingen garanti for premie. Ballen er nemlig rund også her... Keno Vinn ersannsynligheten for å vinne den høyeste premien i Keno er på 1: 2.147.181. Denne premien kan man oppnå dersom man har 10 rette på Keno-nivå 10. Dette gir en odds på 200.000, noe som gir en premie på hele 20 millioner dersom man har en rekkepris på 100 kroner. Gjennomsn ittlig vinnersjanse på de ulike nivåene: Keno-ni vå 2: 1:13 Keno-nivå 3: 1:5 Keno-nivå 4: 1:3 Keno-nivå 5: 1:7 Keno-nivå 6: 1:5 Keno-nivå 7: 1:10 Keno-nivå 8: 1:6 Keno-nivå 9: 1:9 Keno-nivå 10: 1:7 Utskriftsvennlig versjon Åpningstider for spill på nettet: 07:00-23:50 alle dager © 2010 Norsk Tipping AS Kundeservice: Tlf: 07770 (7-22 man-lør, 10-22 søn) Vi tar forbehold om feil på våre nettsider E-post: kundeservice@norsk-t ipping.no Personvern | Sikkerhet | Spiller du for mye?
    2010-03-04, 12:25:53 (85.200.22.*)
26. de a...:
    
    bai fratilor,postati si voi numai in limba romana,e ziar romanesc..nu?
    2010-03-04, 12:34:09 (85.200.22.*)
27. de a...:
    
    o sa postez asa ceva pana incetati cu englezismele.
    2010-03-04, 12:36:55 (85.200.22.*)
28. de taz:
    
    bai, coane, daca tot postezi - chiar si in alta limba - macar baga naiba niste poante-ceva, ca e sectiunea de bancuri acilea...
    2010-03-04, 12:53:18 (79.117.141.*)
29. de Bibicu:
    
    Pentru "a" si webmaster GDS. Domnule "a" daca te simti frustrat ca sunt si bancuri in limba engleza du-te pe alt site sa citesti bancuri (bancuri.net?!?). Nu te obliga nimeni sa citesti GDS.ro. Dar ceea ce faci cu postarile acestea in flamanda e lipsa de bun simt(ca sa fiu elegant in exprimare). O zi buna....
    2010-03-04, 12:53:55 (194.81.223.*)
30. de Craiovean:
    
    Daca ai somnu' usor si ti-ai creat automatisme,nici nu-ti mai trebuie ceas desteptator(ca o paranteza-cand plec a doua zi la pescuit ,ma zvarcolesc precum carasu-n ..minciog-imi fac planuri))Tactica hartzuirii incepe cu golirea preaplinului format pe timpul noptii(daca esti meserias,poti deduce si ce-a baut,sifonat sau nu).Dupa o analiza de fond,vei sti ca s-a tras apa la 4 sau 2(etaje ,bineinteles)Posibil sa mai si te-nseli,sensul de propagare al jetului diferind de la sex la sex(tip cascada Zuruitoarea sau Crisul Repede) Dar fiind o prezentza constanta a diminetzii,sansele neidentificarii sunt ..minime.Iar daca "lucrarea" e insotita si de o basina,trasa prin metoda taraganarii(in trepte de diferite intensitati),ca doar nimic nu-i sortit a nu da roade,perdeaua auditiva de protectie e compromisa definitiv.Asta e,pana la urma e datoria fiecaruia,e teoria reducerii adaosului....Asta ar fi actu' unu'.. Matematic,u rmatorul act incepe cu luarea "pulsului" din bucatarii.Aici,ampli ficatorul de frecventza creste geometric,e scos din corzi si dus in ..prelungiri: "Caf eaua e gata?" De precizat ca enigmele cer de regula o mare intuitie,da' cum sa nu le dezlegi,cand recunosti precis vocea de la 4(etaj)?Mai ales ca cererea e scurta,cu definitie la obiect,fara inflorituri si divagatzii...Actu trei purcede ca o continuare fireasca: "Mi-ai facut pachetu'?" Si cum portia cotidiana este furnizata constant,iti vine sa-i dai tu raspunsul: "Vezi aiuritule, ca e pe etajera!"...dar te abtzii.Ca doar sunt niste " triluri" ale unor pasari, prinse de urechile noastre,fara sa vrem,la ceasul tihnit al diminetzii...Unde propagate in ...mediul inconjurator ,la bloc..Cu termopane sau nu...
    2010-03-04, 13:06:24 (79.117.156.*)
31. de pt. nr. 24 :
    
    Ieri a fost 3.03. 2010!! Azi e 4.03 si in momentul acesta nu e inca ora 16! Nu cumva l-ai pierdut anul trecut? Ha! Ha!
    2010-03-04, 15:44:14 (92.83.11.*)
32. de pt a:
    
    Mie mi-a placut bancul scris de a... daca nu intelegeti flamanda problema voastra. EU in scoala nu am facut engleza. Doar flamanda si chineza (dialectul manciurian). Multumesc "a" pentru bancul scris. Sper sa revii in fiecare zi. Daca gasesti si in dialectul manciurian, preferabil scrierea veche (ideograme) ar fi perfect.
    2010-03-04, 19:10:57 (79.117.151.*)
33. de micsinegru:
    
    pt 85.200.22.* si 79.117.151.*: 你是你笨
    2010-03-04, 19:29:34 (79.117.218.*)
34. de Saul:
    
    De fapt este norvegiana si a fost copiat din site-ul: www.norsk-tipping.no ///HA DET!
    2010-03-06, 12:18:41 (77.19.154.*)